A moment of Venting - or About Depression...

Posted in honor of Suicide Week.

 

Depression isn't something we can just turn on and off at will when it is convenient. Too many people who do not, or have never had depression of any kind have no idea what it is like. Oh, sure all of us get down from time to time, but that is not necessarily Depression.

Depression, treated or not, can be devastating.

From the point of view of someone who can not afford medication, and has never been on medication, let me tell you what it feels like.

First and foremost, any action we take, thoughts we think and reaction we have is most likely going to be irrational. Bear that in mind, because if you tell us we're just being irrational, we are likely to kick you in the face and tell you to leave us alone. We're not in a state of mind to be rational - we already hate ourselves, our lives and or very existence. Does that sound rational to you?

Now that that's cleared up, let me do something that I have not done since I was 15 (and was guilt tripped so badly by my mother that I NEVER spoke of it again in her presence) – talk about how I REALLY feel, day in, day out.

Some days, I feel all is well with the world, and I get on with what I'm supposed to do. Usually, this is most of the time.
Some days, however, due to something that happens (and it could be anything that triggers it, simple or complicated; even I don't know what all of the triggers are), I feel like I shouldn't bother getting up – and sometimes, that is so unconscious that I just sleep, and sleep and don't know why.

I find myself asking my boyfriend – and he usually reminds me of something that recently happened that could cause it – usually my period, which is a whole other story of insanity. Suffice to say that my cycle is um.. not really a cycle, but a randomly chosen event that lasts a random number of days, that has random flow to it, so I never know if the cramps will make me pass out, or if my legs will be numb when I wake up, or if my back will feel like someone came along and dropped a very sharp rock on me while I slept. So the whole ordeal makes me bone-deep tired.

Now I've been told that I have no reason or right to be tired. I may be bleeding, but I have been told that blood was lost weeks before the cycle started. I have no right to be achy or tired DURING the cycle. I've also been told that DURING is when I DO have the right to be tired, as my body is working overtime on something other than normal day-to-day function. I've read that being tired before, during, and after is common.

What am I supposed to believe?

Another answer is “You've been sick, duh.” And that's true. Allergies can knock me down into mild-high fevers, tiredness, and my body is constantly fighting SOMETHING if I miss a day in bad weather or high-allergen days.

It could also be because I'm overweight – obese by doctor's charts, but hey, I'm built like my great-grandmother, and I can outrun people younger than me, so I'm not UNHEALTHY. I didn't ask for that WiiFit so I could sit and watch it, after all. I'm not perfect with all the yoga, and half the strength exercises I can't even do because my balance isn't that great yet, but hey, that takes time to work on.

So whatever reason it is that I sleep so much, I sleep.

And then the commentary starts – I'm just lazy and should get up early. I shouldn't stay up all night. Maybe I shouldn't eat so much.

Okay, you want to know how much I eat? VERY. LITTLE. I often only have one large meal a day (meaning more than a piece of fruit, or just vegetables, or a handful of chips, or whatever – a proper meal consisting of protein, starch, vegetable all on the same plate). This may contribute to my tiredness as well, but I won't eat if I'm not hungry.

I shouldn't stay up all night? Why not? If I go to bed and lay there tossing, turning, my mind constantly working, and I can't sleep, why should I be in bed? I've read an awful lot of doctors' reports stating “If you go to bed and can't sleep, get back up until you are sleepy, so “bed” isn't associated with “unable to sleep”, so when you are in bed, you sleep.”

So if I go to bed and can't get to sleep, I get back up. Finally, when exhaustion kicks in and I crawl into bed, I tend to be awake for nearly an hour before I get to sleep anyway.

I also find that my body wants to go to bed, but my mind comes up with ten MILLION things for me to do RIGHT NOW.

Being the jewelry artist I am, I often get up and pick up wire and pliers and get to work, as late as 5AM. If I'm working on a specific piece, I could pull an all-nighter working on it.

When I get up (anywhere between 6AM and 4PM), I tend to get back to work – cleaning the kitchen, or tidying my bathroom, or laundry, or whatever it was I wanted to do that day. If I'm up until 2AM – I could be cleaning the kitchen at 1AM. It's not like my usual round of chores doesn't get done.

If insomnia hits and I'm up until 6AM? It's not strictly because I'm gaming all night, though yes, that often happens – but guildmates in WoW, and my boyfriend (who I am nearly always on Skype with) can attest to the fact that I do go AFK between dungeon runs or between quests, or even during raids if I need to do something by a certain time, or if Mom asks me for something. I'm rarely ever “settled in” for solid gaming, unless it's a SCHEDULED event – such as our old Saturday/Sunday raiding slots, and the new, upcoming Sunday morning raid slot; my family knows that during those times, I'm part of a dedicated team, and pulling me away means I screw over the rest of my teammates. Of course it took me MONTHS to make them understand THAT. No, guys, WoW doesn't have a “pause” button if I'm in the middle of combat – if I just walk away, I will die, and because I am one of the 1-3 people responsible for keeping my teammates alive, THEY will die if I'm not there doing my job.

My family and some friends LOVE to lay the guilt on thickly – telling me to just get over it, and get up, to do something productive, stop thinking about it (about WHAT? The fact that I'm depressed? I'm sad and I don't know why? I don't have energy to get up? I don't feel enough worth to GET up? I don't feel like I should be around other people? Stop thinking about WHAT?!), or telling me there's nothing wrong with me other than I'm just being lazy.

I was even suicidal once. I did write a lot of rather gruesome poetry back when I was a teenager. Not that I know where those books are now, nor would I share them if I knew.
Of course, when I told my mother, back when I was 14-15ish, how I felt, she asked me how I dared feel that way after everything my parents do for me.

I never, EVER mentioned it again.

Not that it stopped me from actually trying, especially when I realized that my boyfriend, when I was 16-17, had pushed away all of my actual friends, and then when he noticed that I changed myself FOR HIM, turned into what he ASKED me to be, decided I wasn't the girl he fell in love with, and dumped me, knowing I had no one to turn to.

Neither attempt went noticed, thankfully, and neither was successful, obviously.

Being around people, upon moving to Maryland, helped until the self-doubt crept back in. The harder I worked, the more I lost. I ran myself ragged, getting up early, getting home late, going to bed late because I couldn't relax until chores were done, and then not sleeping properly when I DID get to sleep. The more I did, the less I was appreciated. The harder I tried, the more I was pushed aside, and worse, lied to as time went on.

Moving back home was less of a “happy” but more of a “relief”. My ex-roommate still owes me quite a sum of money, and only ONE person up there even said goodbye, hugged me, and told me to keep in touch, which I do on occasion.

Of course, when I moved back home, I realized I was “Called” back home. Whatever deity that watches over me and my family took everything out from under me to get me to go home – because my father had cancer, that went undiagnosed for quite some time, due to a physician's assistant signing off of something he didn't even look at (Yes, we could have owned the whole practice; Dad asked us NOT to sue them before he died), and so after 10 months, 7, if you count time I could actually SPEND with him, I lost my father.

And I still haven't mourned – I've just been the strong one for everyone else, as I always have been, even in NJ, MD, everywhere I've been, I'm the strong one everyone ELSE leans on, but when I need to lean? No one ever had time for me.

… which is yet another reason I feel I have so little worth.

How am I supposed to feel worth something when I'm just something to use?
I was used up in MD, and then discarded, like so much trash.

Hell, even my “best friend”, who was very fond of my father, couldn't be bothered to attend the funeral.

So what am I worth? Apparently not much.

So what are we on now? Lazy because I sleep, and Worthless because once someone's done using me, I am no longer worth their time. OH! Right! And Fat – because of genetics.

And then comes the depression that I can't sell my jewelry – I make things because it brings me joy, and then people say it's pretty, but … even when people have said “I want to buy your things,” they never do. Yes, I'm fully aware of the economical stupidity that's going on right now. But when I want something, I tuck a little away every time I'm paid, until I have enough for it.

Just ask Heidi of Heidi's Handmades – I saved up, and was put over by the high price of a very intricate special custom commission, and am gifting her products to my family, and am currently enjoying the benefit of supporting a small business/hobbyist, and enjoying the benefit of hand-crafted soaps and lotions that are far better for my skin, and less expensive than the stuff I'd been using.

With the leftover money, commissioned Nancy of MonkMama's Shoppe ofDecorative Painting to make Mom a gift for Mother's Day. I also asked Sunfire of Breath of the Dragon Pyrography for one of her famous Dirty/Clean dishwasher signs some time ago.

I feel good, supporting other hand-crafters, since I know what it feels like to go a year with only ONE sale. Unfortunately, if I don't MAKE sales, I can't support them.

I start to wonder if one of the few joys I have left is even worth it – yes making jewelry makes me happy and brings me joy, but there is another half of that dream – to sell it, to make enough money to get a proper business license, to have my items in a shop somewhere, to proudly display myself as Dream Weaver Jewelry (and more!) with full copyright and legality, instead of a “studio name” that I've used since I was 18, and to turn jewelry into my full-time job – it's not as though I don't put my heart and soul into every piece I make!

And so the cycle begins anew, as I feel the heart and soul I put into my work is done for nothing at all.

Instead of support, I was pushed away, which only made me hate myself, and sometimes my work, more. The spiral of self-doubt and self-hatred is poisonous, and so few people even understand it, unless they themselves have been through it.

Thankfully, now, I have at least one person who understands how I feel, and he just listens, and draws me into something fun to cheer me up, without telling me to get over it, or telling me I have no right to be depressed or stressed out. I have a WoW guild of friends who listen to me, instead of belittling how I feel, and often encourage me to take out my frustration in dungeons or in battlegrounds, or just talk about fluff, making me laugh, smile, and make me feel as though I'm part of a group, instead of pushing me out of it just because I'm not always happy.

Do I need medication to correct the chemical imbalance I was diagnosed with when I was 19? Probably.
But I'm afraid I don't have the money to get that medication, or to even see the doctor to GET medications.

So it's up to me to figure out a way to correct it – and it's up to me to seek out those who will listen, not belittle, encourage, not just order me to snap out of it, and cheer me up instead of pushing me away so I don't bring them down too.

Comments will be disabled for this post – since I'm not interested in hearing the excuses people will come up with, or the tide of “You really are just lazy and want an excuse for it.” I've heard all that BS before, and you know what? I'm sick of hearing it, and so is everyone else who has a similar situation to mine.

If you actually have something positive to comment, contact me directly; I can always post a follow-up.

Interview Series: Week 23 – Cat’s Wire

So I’m a little on the air-headed side today, as it’s Tuesday and I didn’t get this done sooner.  Oops!
I’ve had a bit on my plate this week, or rather in the past month.  Two weeks ago I mentioned all the stuff about my website and getting things ready for Black Friday and the start of the Holiday Season.  I’m not sure if I mentioned anything that happened at HOME…

Well, we had a small catastrophe or two.  One, the front right burner on our stove decided about a month ago that Nope, it was done. Stopped working, with a very nasty display of snapping its coils.  After cleaning up the mess it left, we blocked it up and turned it into a trivet, since it was the large burner out of the four.  A week or so later, the back burner, through some mischief, died in a…. well, let’s say a very interesting way.  Somehow, one of the plastic butter-dishes we have was left ON said burner.  The burner was cold, but being the back right burner, it also serves as the oven-vent.  We don’t know if it was my sister or me, but someone turned on the oven and didn’t realize that dish was there.  Melted Plastic City… and anything cooked in the oven had a slightly plastic-y taste and smell.

Mom said it was a Sign.  … to get the range she WANTED instead of the piece of junk that came with the house.  That will be delivered .. tomorrow, as you read this on Wednesday, December 5, 2012.  We’ve been scrambling to make sure that furniture is moved, and the kitchen scoured so installation will be quick and easy when the folks from Lowes get here.

After working on that all day, I came into my room to get started on this… and read my email.  “Junk.. Junk.. You have received payment from… WHAT?!”  A sale. … A .. Sale?  What sold?!  And lo and behold, one of my Elemental Earwrap/Earcuff sets sold – Fire. So I contacted the buyer to see if they needed gift packaging/wrap, and to make sure it was okay that it will be shipped Friday, yadda, yadda, get the invoice typed up awaiting further instructions… cook dinner, and then get started HERE.

I wasn’t going to miss this week because the stuff this lady makes is stunning, intricate and just plain awe-inspiringly gorgeous!

Meet Catrin, of Cat’s Wire on Zibbet, a member from Germany!  I would say more, as her story is interesting, but I’ll let her do the talking instead!

Name: Catrin
Craft: I create jewelry and little sculptures using different techniques, mostly wire crochet, wire knit (done with a crochet hook) and bead looming at the moment
Favorite material (or medium, whatever you want to call it!): Wire, both silver and copper, cabochons, stones and beads of all kind are the materials I use most, but I also dabble in polymer clay every, now and then and I'll use anything else that I find and seem fit for a design
Most Popular Seller (whether it be online or at shows you attend): That's impossible to answer, there isn't a particular seller I admire because there are so many talented people out there doing so many different things

Bead loomed ladybug cuff – Coccinellula
I can’t imagine how much time this took, and it is absolutely admirable – and adorable!

What got you into your craft?

Actually it was a TV news show about all kinds of things that have to do with computers or the internet. I happened to catch the part about Etsy, got curious and had a look. There I stumbled upon a wire crochet piece that fascinated me. I came back again and again until I finally decided to get myself a book. I looked at the pictures once, I tried to learn the paragraph about wire gauges, then I bought some wire at the bead store, took my only crochet hook and jumped into the cold water

How did you learn your craft?

I'm pretty much self taught because I love to experiment and because I am too impatient for tutorials. Of the three tutorials I own I read the first few sentences and then went for it. This is not to say the tutorials weren't any good, it's me who is not good with them, I'm afraid

Silver wire knit earrings with faux amber cabochons
These struck me as stunning for their simple look, but complicated wire-detail.

What about YOU? Who is the artist behind those wonderful items?

Oh dear. I am from Southern Germany and my name is Catrin, but many of my friends call me Cat which is perfect since I'm a crazy cat lady, meaning both that I'm a crazy lady and that my cats are crazy, all four of them. There's also a crazy bunny and four very busy gerbils - I can hear them, they are probably moving furniture ...

Originally I'm a librarian at a university, due to health reasons I am working part-time. The rest of my time is spent on crafting, DVDs, books, online activities and the critters ... not necessarily in that order.

I am blessed with a vivid imagination and my brain often works overtime, like last night when I dreamed that a cheetah felt the urge to lick my face in the street, then a bear got ready to attack afterwards, but I got away because I needed to pick up my monkey from the cellar. Then again it sometimes does come up with really cool stuff that I am proud of!

Silver wire crochet pendant with moonstones - Mary had a little lamb
At first I saw a beautiful cluster of Moonstones.  Then I looked again, and squealed at the cuteness!

What is a typical "working" day for you? How does it usually start and end? How many hours do you spend crafting? How many hours do you spend on other things? What about distractions? I know we all have them! Do you usually accomplish all you wanted to?

The first three days of the week belong to my day job. I have a long day and when I come home, my cats need attention, so there's not much with creating or promoting. The other days are not that structured, either. Of course I never accomplish all I wanted to. If I feel I'm really getting behind on things, I make a to-do list to get me back into the routine, but usually I don't organize my day that much. I'm organized at my day job and I rather go with the flow on the other days, even if I have vague plans, like taking pictures the next day or listing pieces that have been lying around for a bit.

I'm also volunteering at a club, so that takes up time as well, then there's my family that I visit at least once a week, my cats, friends ...

What happens when you Oops? Everyone gets one sometime or another! Do you get frustrated and destroy/start over, or do you go with the flow and see what comes out in the end?

That depends. I have my UFOs lying around and my WIPs. Sometimes I tear a piece up, sometimes it turns into something totally different which can just be as much fun.

Wire crochet Christmas wreath earrings and necklace
I have seen Trees, Snowmen, Candles, Gifts… But never wreaths.  This set is gorgeous!

What is your design process like? How many tries does it take to be happy with the final product?

If it's a wire project that I'm working in, I more often than not jump into it without much planning. Some items I fiddle with forever, maybe because just one loop isn't the way I want it to be, some items just go perfectly from start to end. The bead loomed pieces obviously have to be planned as I need a pattern, but even they can change during crafting because I might add a 3D accent in the end or a fringe or something else.

Golden wire knit collar with beads - Egyptian dream
I can’t imagine the time spend for the detail of this.  The result is breathtaking…

What is your greatest roadblock, be it government regulation or that little frustrating thing that just likes to sneak up and stop you in your tracks? Broken needle? Jump ring jumping out of your pliers? Thread knots? Cats? Dogs? The family hedgehog rolled about in your yarn basket?

My brain, my eyes and my hands. There are times, usually when I am too exhausted to crawl out of the hole, when I try to make something, but I can feel my brain working against me. The only thing to do then is drop everything and do something else. That doesn't happen very often, though, because I have learned to recognize it before I even start.

I am wearing glasses and with the age and all the work on the computer and with little beads, my eyes tire more easily than they used to. I hate if I really want to finish something, but my eyes kind of start blurring up.

Wire crochet and knit is not all that easy on hands and wrists, so it can happen that they are simply hurting too much to go on.

The rest I can deal with - cats spilling beads or trying to steal stuff, components jumping through the room, whatever ... that's just part of the game.

All important pricing... Do you have a formula? Do you wing it? Do you feel your work justifies your prices?

I don't have a real formula, but I am absolutely convinced that my work justifies my prices. There are a lot of hours in most of my pieces, probably much more than people see. Then there's the time I need to take and edit pictures, to list the pieces. And not to forget, there is a big part of me, of my soul, of my thoughts and feelings, in every piece. It may sound cheesy, but that's the way it is, and it is what makes handmade special - that does not just go for me.
Many of my pieces are one of a kind and have their own little story of inspiration.

Of course I have made things that I later found to not be good enough or too simple because over the time I improved my skills. I have donated many of those pieces, and sometimes they do get ripped up eventually.

Wire crochet turtle sculpture - Sam Toitle
This little guy made me squee. I could go on about the detail and intricacy, but I’m too busy squeeing “Turtle!!”

And of course, is there anything else you'd like to say to our "viewers at home"?

My brain is pretty empty at the moment, but you can follow me on Facebook or my blog to be there when I have something to say!

 

Something in this minnerview called out to me as I finished posting, and I’d like to add a little here.  One thing I’ve not touched on was exactly what Cat said: A part of the soul, thoughts and feelings, a piece of the artist themselves goes into each and every piece they create.
It may not have occurred to me before because I had been doing some basic things, but now that I have sold my first One of a Kind items… I understand more than ever.  I loved my Fire Earwrap/Cuff Set.  I even did wear it once or twice, hoping to get some attention.  It seems one of the folks who saw it, bought it after I gave them my card.

The Elemental Earwrap/Cuff series was one of the most intricate bits of work I’ve ever done, and was one of the very first works of wearable art that I have produced that can not be duplicated later on.  They are truly one of a kind, not just unique.  It will not stop me from making another Fire wrap and cuff, but it will never be the same as the first, no matter if I try to shape the wire similarly or use the same colors.  Nothing will make it anything like the first one.

A part of my soul will be nestled into that box with the pretty organza covering.  It will leave me, and go to someone else.  I just hope and pray that whoever next slips Fire onto their ear will know that there is a part of me there, and I hope it brings them as much joy to wear as it brought me to make.

Thanks for reading to one and all, as always! Until next time!

Interview Series: Week 22 – Enchanted Craft

Ever have a week where you’ve gotten so used to quiet and then all of a sudden BAM! Everything you’ve been waiting on is suddenly in your face, on your doorstep, or falling on the floor, off the plate that had once been empty but is now overfull?
That’s me!

The To-Do list has grown in the past few days, to the point of wanting about 6 more pairs of hands, 4 more heads, and another 10 pairs of feet.  Sadly, this would make me look ridiculous, and wouldn’t help much because the feet would be moving in 11 different directions, my hands would be trying to accomplish 7 tasks at once with only one computer and one set of jewelry tools, and my heads would all be aching from trying to pay attention to 5 different tasks.
But I would look very funny in the process!

As everyone knows, Winter Holiday Shopping Season begins this coming Friday (if it hasn’t already begun for many of you – I know that I shop all year to avoid the crazy insanity of the Rush!), and I am driving myself to be prepared.  In the past week and a half, I have taken over 1,000 photographs, coded several web pages (with my Uber Awesome Boyfriend, more commonly known as UAB on my Facebook Page coding more of them FOR me), edited 50-60 photographs, argued with UAB’s web host (he set up a “live” beta site that we can both work on) for being down for more than 2 weeks, resulting in the two of us crossing wires in some coding, and set up a new shop on Goodsmiths, restocked my Etsy store, relisted some things on Zibbet and MadeItMyself, and I am still working so everything is LIVE on Thursday Night!

But before I get back to photo-editing… I have something more important to share with you all!

I got a reply, at last!

Today, the artist I bring to you touches something in my soul, because I am indeed a gamer, and love fantasy.  The pretties I offer up today are all things I personally thought to myself “ooh, I want one!”, and there is in fact, one item that might find its way into my home, but I’ll share it anyway!

Meet another pair of artists contributing to Enchanted Craft of Zibbet, and be enchanted by their excellent work, and wide selection for any fantasy lover!

Name:
Nicole and Gigi Angell
Craft:
Each of us has our own special area in crafting. I (Nick) am the painter, sculptor, jewelry maker, and seamstress. Gigi (mom) is the knitter, crocheter and stitcher. I like to call Gigi the fiber artist of our team.
Favorite material (or medium, whatever you want to call it!):
I think the easiest way to put this is... “My favorite medium is whatever medium I am working in right this second.” So it can vary from oil paint to poly clay from one day to the next. Gigi loves the look and feel of beautiful yarns and threads. We both would love to have a room filled with scraps of colorful scraps of fabric and fibers. To us they look like a bright spring flower garden.
Most Popular Seller (whether it be online or at shows you attend):
We really have a couple of ‘best sellers’. The R2-D2 hat both in Fleece and knitted are amazing sellers. Our Doctor Who Tardis fingerless gloves are also very popular. We make them in fleece and in a knitted version.

 

Hand Knitted tARDis beanie Hat inspired by Dr Who
The gloves are mentioned above, but I would totally wear the hat too!

What got you into your craft?

I can safely say I was born wanting to create. Lucky for me both my parents encouraged me to ‘try it all’. My Mom taught me how to sew, knit, crochet, and just plain be creative. My Dad was happy to let me use every tool in the garage and woodshop. They both deserve the credit for who I am.

How did you learn your craft?

Trial and error! Except for sewing, knitting, and crocheting I taught myself all of my other skills. I had some really great ‘art’ teachers in high school that just gave me the keys to the storeroom with instructions of ‘go teach yourself something’ so I did! Pottery, casting statues, silk screening, sculpting, metalwork, printing are just some of the things I ‘learned’ from exploring those storerooms in high school.

 

"Just Hanging Around" Painting of a happy froggy
This is adorable.  My mother LOVES frogs, and I think she would be “cuted out” by this!

What about YOU? Who is the artist behind those wonderful items?

An insane person. Really. I am that person you know that always has a new project happening and can explain anything to you. My ability to teach means that when I taught science and English for 3 years the kids got more than just ‘those subjects’. I would hop from the science right to the ‘art’ found within the subject. The kids would ask me the strangest questions- knowing (or wishing) that I would have the answer. They were right- I am very well rounded… so I could answer in a knowledgeable way. Insane? Oh yea. Live bugs in my desk, eating lichen off a tree, or having the kids do the ‘earthquake dance’ (don’t ask)- they never knew what to expect. I don’t teach now- but the other teachers around me still come for lessons, explanations, and posters for their rooms.

I’m a nut hat home too- when things go right I have a happy dance. I walk my cat on a leash. Anything that could be painted gets a paint job. I have chickens that are cuddled at a drop of hat. Being a nut keeps me and my mom healthy and happy.

 

Hand painted egg- 'Other World Egg- Pegasus in the Night- on a permanent stand
These eggs are absolutely amazing! The detail is eggquisite!

What is a typical "working" day for you?

A typical day begins with a quick look online for orders. I pack and ship usually around 7:20 am. After that in summer I do all the outdoor chores until lunchtime. Then it is crafting time. Winter is the opposite- I’ll craft/create in the morning and do the chore in the afternoon. Evenings are for a few hours of TV- but while we watch our science fiction or science shows both Mom and I are working. I sew, paint, bead, or make jewelry while Gigi knits or crochets. Neither one of use can just ‘sit and watch TV’.

How many hours do you spend crafting?

Anywhere from 2-8 hrs a day.

 

How many hours do you spend on other things?

All the rest!

What about distractions? Do you usually accomplish all you wanted to?

There are never enough hours in a day to finish everything I want to do! Distractions… Instructables, Google +, and Facebook eat up some time each day. Also sometimes I just get wrapped up in a project and ignore everything else. I know we all have them!

 

OPENING Salazar Slytherin's LOCKET Horocrux recreated from the book cover Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
When I saw this, I know I gasped as my jaw dropped.  This is utterly amazing work, and for any Harry Potter fan, a must have!

What happens when you Oops?

Ah the horrible and yet wonderful screw ups. Unlike when I was young and often ‘overworked’ a project until it was ruined- I just don’t do that anymore. Now I usually can tell when a project is ‘just not working’ and stop. I have piles of screw-ups or almost screw-ups in every medium. They just sit around until the eureka moment when they finally become a finished item. Sometimes it takes years before I figure out what was wrong, other times I ‘fix’ it within a few days.

What is your design process like? How many tries does it take to be happy with the final product?

You know that hour or so when you are trying to go to sleep at night?

Well, that is when about 90% of my ideas get developed. I attempt to work out all the steps and problems I will encounter while just laying there trying to go to sleep. Anything you see build or painted in my household was built or painted at least 20 times in my mind before I start. Kinda annoying really. Like everyone I don’t always get it right in my mind- but 80% of the time I have anticipated correctly. 15% of the time I missed a few details and fight my way through the process. Then there is the 5% of the time I just can’t make reality fit my imagination no matter what.
What is your greatest roadblock, be it government regulation or that little frustrating thing that just likes to sneak up and stop you in your tracks? The greatest roadblock it space… I end up with just so much created that just sits and waits for the perfect person to come along and buy that OOAK item. I actually make deals with myself ‘ok- you can’t make anything new until 3 things sell out of your shops’. The problem is the really creative things I do don’t really sell. Check out some of my paintings, the things that really take some time, they just sit there longing for a new home. While something I am bored to death making over and over continues to sell. I remind myself of one of my little sayings ‘there are things you create for fun- and then there are the things that make money’. My other roadblock is… losing track of where I put a specific material or tool. It is hard to create the perfect item- when the perfect tool is just plain missing in action.

hand painted White Tree of Gondor small bag- for the fan of Lord of the Rings
I am most certainly a fan.  No matter where it is, the White Tree is always an uplifting sight.

All important pricing... Do you have a formula? Do you wing it? Do you feel your work justifies your prices?

Ah pricing- my worst nightmare. I have a formula that was taught to me by a wonderful florist. It is (cost of materials x 2) + (time x wages per hour) = item price. It was the standard method of pricing floral work- at least back in the 90’s. I use it as a general guide- but usually things don’t get priced that way. I look at what the market will bear and wing it. I can safely say I am cheating myself wages 90% of the time. Sigh.

World Of Warcraft HORDE Box- get your name on it
As a primarily Horde player since 199-something (When did Orcs vs Humans come out?), this item may just find its way onto my dresser, since the crest is already the ‘screen saver’ on my phone.  Lok’tar Ogar! Victory or Death!

And of course, is there anything else you'd like to say to our "viewers at home"?

Creating is the best therapy- create something new, share it with others, and then treasure the smiles it brings. Buy handmade and make a difference in the life of those who create and those who receive. Sure a hat from a big box store will warm your head- but one made by hand will warm a heart (or 3).

 

I can’t agree with that last line more.  Big Box stores may have cheap prices, but often because the things themselves are cheap.  With Handmade, you know that someone worked from start to finish with love for what they do, and know that the item you get as a gift for yourself or someone else was made with love, given with love, or found with love.

Thank you, Nicole for sharing your story and your awesome work and your mother’s.

Find Nicole and her mother’s work in lots of places!  Just check out their Facebook Page for information!

Until next time! Thanks, as always, for reading!